T 17 at Ranthambore National Park

T 17 at Ranthambore
Originally uploaded by www.sandeepmall.com

Understanding Anger- Does getting angry help?

I have been in some very embarrassing situations at work when heated angry words are exchanged between colleagues. A few years back I myself had gone through some difficult times when I used to get angry at smallest issues and had broken my hand trying to hit a TV and broken many a glasses in a fit of anger. I had used abusive language for my own people and family. Some counseling sessions helped me regain myself and made me more stable and confident. When I think now why I used to get angry and why I justified my anger - it feels very funny. One of the reasons I can recollect now telling my counsellor was "Anger is a natural response to someone else's behavior. I get upset because some one didn't do the think I wanted him/her to do. Secondly, I have to be angry to assert myself on others. I have to use this as a weapon". Looking back to all the incidences in my life in the past and what all the people do around me when they are angry, I just can not help myself other than laughing at this foolishness.

What changed in me that minimized my anger? The counselor increased my self awareness. I realized that anger begins with an irritation towards something or a person. As more and more attention I gave to this irritation it led to frustration and then anger and then rage. The method is simple - find the root cause of anger. When that is known there are two choices - to stop creating it or continue creating it. The choice is ours. There is no reason to justify creating anger.

Medically also it has been proved that anger has ill effect on health. Its a fact and not just a "movie thing" when they show people with having heart attacks when in rage or anger. The only way to find solution is to ask ourselves - Does anger help? What value is peace in my life? Can I forgive? Is it difficult to forgive? It has to be acknowledged and understood that we are the creator of our emotions and not any other person or thing. Few years back I had heard two phrases in one of the religious discourses that my Grand Mom was listening on TV which influenced me tremendously - Let Be and Let Go. When ever I am upset I try to remember these words. They help.

Simplicity in Life

I suddenly realised today how grateful God has been on me as I rarely had to do things that always looked simple but are the most complicated. For all the services that I use I always had some body assisting me and I always got things on a platter. Today my relationship manager at Citibank was on leave and I had to call these guys on some urgent matter with regards to my credit card. What a pain it was. When I was able to connect with somebody human after pressing so many ones and twos - the lady on the other side simply ended the call because she was not able to listen to my voice properly. I was just mad and frustrated. I had once a similar experience with Make My Trip. I had a confirmed hotel booking through them and when my guests reached the designated hotel at Tirupati, they were shocked that there was no booking for them there. I just couldn't connect to any human in next 15 days at Make My Trip to complain and get the refund. Now I have a feeling that the more things we have which we feel is for our own convenience, the more headache we have. If every thing goes fine , they are wonderful but if there is a breakdown somewhere you had it.

These are very small examples but in our daily life we have made ourselves so complicated, so much ego, jealousy ... a long list. The perception that the other guy is happy because he has something more than what I have makes our live unhappy and the whole satisfaction and enjoyment of things that we have is gone. With "more" - its more complicated. Simplicity is always a winner. I believe the best electronic product today is from Apple and its just one thing - Touch. Look at the Google screen. So simple. That's why they are so successful. The best pictures we like are "Simple". But still we have a habit to complicate things. The more we want, the more complicated it gets. I never realised this because someone else was doing the hard work for me and I was enjoying the best part of it. But with few experiences now I understand how comfortable and peaceful it is to be Simple. I am sure lot of people understand it but still cant do it because Simplicity is hard. That's why its actually rare to find . Simplicity implies beauty, purity and clarity. God is Simple. Simplicity is Peace, Peace is strength. It makes mind calm and clear, easy and content. Its better not to fritter away life after details but simplify. Someone has rightly said "Nothing is more simple then greatness; indeed to be simple is to be great"

The First Encounter

The first encounter
Originally uploaded by Sandeep Mall

At 40 degrees plus we had been waiting for the Kitty to give us some glimpse. Couple of Sambhar calls behind us and we see the beauty eying us from behind the tree. It came out close enough to shake hands and literally modeled for one hour exclusively for us. My first proper tiger sighting in the wild and this is what I saw. It gave all possible shots and then got down on a vertical cliff more than 100 feet below, jumped over a stream and sat down on the grass. All the time least bothered about our presence though continuously giving us the glare. For more pics check out my Flickr account at http://www.flickr.com/photos/sandeep40/ or at facebook http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2064674&id=1195613311

Green Bee Eater with the Bee

Green Bee Eater with the Bee
Originally uploaded by Sandeep Mall

The Green Bee-eater, Merops orientalis, (sometimes Little Green Bee-eater) is a near passerine bird in the bee-eater family.

Just as the name suggests, bee-eaters predominantly eat insects, especially bees, wasps and ants, which are caught in the air by sorties from an open perch. Before feeding, a bee-eater removes stings and breaks the exoskeleton of the prey by repeatedly hitting the insect on their perch.
A study showed that the Green Bee-eaters is capable of interpreting the behavior of other animals. They showed an ability to predict whether a predator at a particular location would be capable of spotting the nest entrance and then behaved appropriately to avoid giving away the nest location. The ability to look at a situation from another's point of view was previously believed to be possessed only by primates

Why others decide my happiness?

Though this is there for donkeys years but since last few months I have been realizing how my being happy or sad or whatever feelings I am going though is controlled and dependent on others. Citing some of the recent events - I felt depressed when Divyansh didn't come up with his expected results, when my friend Rajesh quit Rotary, excited with my new Mac, some great shots with the camera etc etc. We are taught to make our happiness dependent on others - some object, thing, people,events , conditions. Now I understand the lack of real long term happiness in my life is because of dependence on others. I feel I delay my happiness till things are just right. But life is never just right and future never comes - there is only now. Sunils untimely death should be an eye opener. Life around his family and friends just took a complete turnaround the moment the doctor said he had few months to live. Just 42 with two young daughters. It was a moment of shock more than I had ever experienced. But still why don't I learn? Why I keep on postponing my happiness? And the only reason I can find out is my dependency on others for my happiness. I have seen all my happiness being dependent on acquiring something or someone, seeing the result I desired, waiting for some pain to go away before being happy. Happiness has to be my decision and not a dependency. And to do that I have to change my state of being from dependency to freedom from dependency.

Fly Past

Fly Past
Originally uploaded by Sandeep Mall

The Little Egret (Egretta garzetta) is a small white heronThe adult Little Egret is 55–-65 cm long with an 88–-106 cm wingspan. It weighs 350–-550 grams. Its plumage is all white. It has long black legs with yellow feet and a slim black bill. In the breeding season, the adult has two long nape plumes and gauzy plumes on the back and breast. The bare skin between the bill and eyes becomes red or blue. Juveniles are similar to non-breeding adults but have duller legs and feet. The subspecies garzetta has yellow feet and a bare patch of grey-green skin between the bill and eyes, whereas nigripes has yellow skin between the bill and eye and blackish feet.
Little Egrets are mostly silent but make various croaking and bubbling calls at their breeding colonies and produce a harsh alarm call when disturbed.