Lucky to have friends - bachpan se saath

I write this blog from my train travelling to Purulia , my hometown. I am taking a train journey after almost 18 months last time was also when I had gone to Purulia. I was well in time at the station keeping the security going on these days. Nothings changed it seems at the station. Its still dirty and you don’t feel safe and secure somehow. So many people , so many. It looks like the whole of Delhi is travelling. I reach my seat and unfortunately this is an old coach so there is no power point. Thankfully the train is not full and I get myself changed to an adjoining coach so that I can plug in my laptop and work.I have been feeling sick for some time and the doctor wanted to start my physiotherapy immediately but I had this urge to go to Purulia over the weekend. Somehow I didn’t want to cancel that. Why?

The major reason for this journey is to meet my friend Rajesh Saraogi , my first friend & my only childhood friend. I heard on the radio today morning that 3^rd is Friendship day so I though let me write about my friends. I met Rajesh when I was in classXth. He is a year older than me and was in Class XI. He was friendly with a guy called Akhilesh in our class and used to come to school to meet him. There is a place called ‘Dharamshalla More’ in Purulia and all the school friends used to meet there in the evening for some fun time. Rajesh was from a humble family and used to help his father and brother in there small retail shop they had. I don’t know what attracted us to each other but we started interacting more. I used to accompany him in all the stores he used to go to sell his products after school. We used to share the same cycle and he would paddle me along. His brothers shop used to sell matches and he used to go to all his customers to take orders and also collect money. I still recollect one incidence when we had gone to one cigarette vendor whom he used to sell the matches complaining that the matches were damp and would not light up. Rajesh dipped one whole box into a bucket of water lying in his shop and lighted up the wet matchstick. It was an amazing and courageous thing to do as if it failed the vendor would return his material back. I liked his confidence. I still recollect the hot summer season when at 40 degrees plus temperature we used to fly kites through out our summer holidays. It was the time also when I fell in love and he used to be privy to all what was happening. I moved to Nagpur for my higher studies and he to Calcutta. Unfortunately he had a bad jaundice which forced him to abandon his final CA exams and return home. I also completed my studies at Nagpur and came back. In between we went for a holiday to Puri and had a great time. Rajesh accompanied me to Delhi when I came to meet Minoo for the first time. I still recollect our lunch at The Ming House at Taj Palace in Delhi. Both of us had gone to a five star hotel for the first time and how he some how drank the Chinese tea. I ruined his honeymoon . On his way to Manali for his honeymoon he stayed with me for a day at Faridabad. I was all alone at that time at Faridabad. I was running fever at that time. He called me up from Manali to find out about my health and when he came to know I was in more bad condition he & Rekha drove back to Faridabad to take care of me and they spent there next 5 days of honeymoon taking care of me. At Purulia we both got involved with Rotaract. Rajesh bought so much of humor and fun into the club meetings. Both of us one day wrote and composed a song “Be a friend & make your Mark” which we sang in one of the club programs in front of 300 odd guests. Rajesh has always been a great learner. As I had lived in a Nagpur, attended professional college and was born in a well to do family I was more cosmopolitan and he used all opportunities he got to learn English from me. My career took me to Faridabad and our interaction got limited to telephone calls or emails. We try to meet up at least once a year and mostly at Purulia though he has come to Faridabad 4- 5 times. I enjoy every moment when I am with him. I am sure I am going to have a blast next two days with him.

Visit to The Presidents House

Yesterday we had this great opportunity to visit the Rashtrapti Bhawan - The Presidents House.

I had sent an email to the President few days back requesting permission to allow us a visit to see this beautiful mansion with 340 rooms and 4 floors. To my pleasant surprise I received a call from Her excellencies secretariat on Saturday that our request has been accepted and so we set of to see this magnificent structure yesterday on 28th July. After going through three levels of security we reached the reception. After completing the formalities there our guide took us to see the place frm inside.

The present day Rashtrapati Bhavan was the erstwhile residence of the British Viceroy. Its architect was Edwin Landseer Lutyens. The decision to build a residence in New Delhi for the British Viceroy was taken after it was decided in the Delhi Durbar of 1911 that the capital of India would be shifted from Calcutta to Delhi in the same year. It was constructed to affirm the permanence of British rule in India. This building gave the impression, in the words of a critique, the setting of a perpetual Durbar. The building and its surroundings were supposed to be 'an empire in stone', 'exercising imperial sway' and containing in it, "the abode of a disinterested elite whose rule was imposed from above". That 'empire in stone' and the perpetual Durbar was transformed to be the permanent institution of democracy on 26th January 1950 when Dr. Rajendra Prasad became the first President of India and occupied this building to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of India. It was from that day that this building was renamed as Rashtrapati Bhavan - the President's House.

The tour starts with The Marble Hall where Statues of King George V and Queen Mary, life size and bust size oil portraits of former Viceroys and Governors General, the silver chair for the Queen, the brass replica of British Crown are displayed. On the basement of this is the Kitchen museum where cutleries and other apparatus used in the kitchen of the Viceroys and Presidents are displayed. We are then guided to the Museum where various gifts given by visiting dignitaries given to the President are displayed. Among things at display is 640 kg silver chair used by the King Emperor at Delhi Durbar of 1911-12.

From here we go to the Durbar Hall which has a 2Ton Chandelier . During the British time it was also called the Throne room as the were 2 separate thrones for the Viceroy and Vicereine which have now been replaced by a simple chair for the President,statue of Gautam Buddha belonging to Gupta period, 5 Century, A.D, benedicting from behind. Durbal Hall is used for State functions: Defence Investiture ceremony, conferring of Padma Awards, etc. This is also the place where Lord Mountbatten handed handed over the declaration of Indian Independence to Indias first Prime Minister Sri Jawaharlal Nehru. India Gate is exactly straight from here. The top dome we see from outside of this building houses the Durbal Hall.

We went to the Ashoka Hall from here. It was originally built as the State Ballroom.It has a wooden floor,a central dance space, and three vestibules. Unlike most halls and chambers in Rashtrapati Bhawan, the Ashoka Hall has a painted ceiling. The painting is in the Persian style. The main painting on the roof depicts a royal hunting expedition while those towards the corners show scenes from court life. This is where swearing in ceremonies and civilian awards are presented. Adjoining this is the State Dinning Hall, now known as Banquet Hall. It can seat 104 persons. Portraits of all former Presidents embellish its walls. An assortment of medieval arms are also on display through out the walls.
The tour ends into the famous Moghul Gardens spread over 15 acres. Comparing this one with The White House - this one is more gorgeous and large.

Sunday at the saloon

We had a family appointment at the saloon today and Minoo & Divyansh had a new hairstyle. Sharing their pics taken form my cellphone.

My first MRI

I had a MRI done for my spines today. MRI means magnetic resonance imaging. I googled to find out more on MRI and interestingly found that it was earlier called NMRI , N standing for Nuclear but as the word Nuclear sounded negative so it was removed. As the name says MRI is done by creating a powerful magnetic field as powerful as 20000 times stronger than Earths magnetic field. That’s why no metal is allowed inside the MRI room and there are numerous incidences of people getting killed because of this negligence. There is one story of the oxygen cylinder flying into the MRI machine because of the magnetic field and killing a 6 year old boy. Why was I having an MRI done?

I have not been feeling comfortable for last few weeks. I feel weak and also numbness and tingling on my left leg below the knee and left hand specially the little finger. I had consulted couple of doctors and they advised I get an MRI , X ray and some blood test before the treatment could start. So I went to the Fortis hospital for my MRI. The technician there asked me to remove metal and other things before setting me up inside the machine. It was a typical no ventilation room and I was asked to lie down on the machine. They put a blanket on me and I was asked not to move as that will disturb the imaging process. The technician also told me that there will be some clanging noise and put a head phone on my ears. As they started the machine and I was going in I felt suffocated and had to signal him to take me out and so I sat down and refused to get the MRI done. I was again convinced that this is a simple process and they started it again but I felt I will die out of suffocation. Ultimately I opened my shirt and took a deep breath and put myself in, It seems I am claustrophobic – inherited from Dad. Any way as the MRI started and the primary and gradient magnets started making all sort of noises, I lay there with my eyes closed. The sound from the machine was like a remix DJ music . Initially I felt the beats of Chaiya Chaiya and could visualize Shahrukh and Malaika dancing on the train. Then there were war like sounds and machine guns firing. I tried to visualize Sunny Deol and Sunil Shetty firing from the movie – Border. Suddenly the music changed to Sylvester Stallon walking in the ring to the beats of Eyes of a Tiger, The end was a slow down tribal beat reminding me of Chow dance from my home town tribes of Purulia. Some how this 15 minute long film show ended and like the critical acclaim for a bad movie I give it no stars. I can imagine the pain Dad went or others go through during radiation.

Monday we go to see Rashtrapati Bhawan – The Presidents house. A few days back I sent an email to Her Excellency The President of India requesting a permission to allow us to visit the Presidents house. And to my pleasant shock I got a call from the Presidents secretariat today that our permission has been granted and we are to report to gate no 37. Unfortunately they don’t allow cameras inside for us to cherish this memory. I had the good fortune of going into the White House also in March 2001, the year they closed visitors after September 11th. Bye for now as Minoo is ready with some new dishes for dinner tonite.

Living for Yourself

I was remembering Babuji (my Grand Father) today - his thoughts and lessons to me in life and had written two big paras on those but I don't know how those got deleted and just couldn't get them back and neither those emotions to write again at this time. I thought let me continue on myself at this time. I was trying to recollect when was the last time I was doing something for myself. When was the last time I pampered myself? This bought me back to the last blog I had written " Its rather difficult to indulge in something purely for myself because living in this society I seem to be wired with guilt". Its difficult to go to a late night show because the kids need us back home. It seems that anything that gives us pleasure is complete no - no because some of the other responsibilities have to be fulfilled. With growing consumerism every one wants everything and that too fast. This leaves no time for oneself. Life has become materialistic and mean. The first question that comes , 'What am I going to get out of this?'

In the last one month I have realised I need to spend some quality time for myself. Doing something that gives me creative satisfaction and pleasure. I have started Living for myself. I do things at my pace. I do Yoga to care for my health. This one month has made me mentally agile , spiritually evolved and emotionally balanced. Its helping eradicate negative thoughts entering my mind, making me more focused. Its bringing peace and happiness in my life. I strongly recommend everyone should take out some time for oneself , should pick up an activity that gives him/her pleasure. Thank God, though late, I realised this and I am sure I am not going to regret one day realising life has passed without having lived it for myself. I now have couple of hours for myself - whether writing this blog, sleeping after breakfast or reading a book at night. This hour or two gives me happiness more than anything the day can bring. Its the time I own and spend it the way I want.

A week to the peak

In a weeks time I celebrate my 43rd Birthday. 42 years of memories - some wonderful and for some I have regrets. If I divide my 42 years in two parts the first 21 has been with so many regrets - the major being not continuing with my studies. I have had more successes in the 2nd part of this span.

Talking of regrets the other day in Sunday Brunch I read about some famous personality saying he has no regrets in his life. How can that be as most of us are burdened with some guilt. We have been bought up to live in some guilt from our childhood. When we don't fall in line or adhere to what some one asks us to do - we live in the guilt of not making the person happy. We feel guilty about doing something and then guilty for not doing it. We feel guilty at being late ,for spending, for eating, for loving or for that matter having fun.

At this age and after heading a successful enterprise for 15 years, I find myself bound by several "do's & don'ts ", to confirm to the image of a good son, father, husband, friend etc. I call this "disease to please". When you have this most of your decisions are based on what others would think of you so as not to disappoint or upset them. Even if in the process you are suffocated and stifled with no breathing space for yourself. Having lived half of my life I want to be myself and not just a good son, father, husband and friend. I want to be me - good or bad.

I am pretty sure its not just me but almost all of us in this situation - being controlled by others in what we think and do.

I might be trying to do the same where I can influence - may be my wife and sons. When I analyse my act with them I realise I am trying to take control of their lives - control through guilt. This way I hide my inadequacies. Feeling Guilty or making some one guilty is a mental torture. When coolly I think back on some incidences I realise how I let the ridiculous episode to make me suffer of guilt.

With my experience of 42 years I feel as long as I know my limits and my actions are not hurting anyone I should go by what I think is right. As long as I am following the broad laws of morality and law of the land rest of what I do is my choice and I should not feel guilty of making someone unhappy with my decisions. Vice Versa my actions shoud not make the others guilty of there life.

Dont forget to wish me on 23rd. By the way I plan to loose 5 kgs in the next three months as part of my first resolution in the 43rd year. I have already started doing Yoga.

Mobile Blogging

Well I cam across this feauture where you can use blog with your mobile phone. So just taking a trial run of that.