Remembering Parveen

It was a shocking news day before from my friend Rajesh that our class mate Praveen Kejriwal has been killed in a road mishap. The car he was driving had crashed with a bus from the opposite direction and had caught fire. Only his skeletons were left by the time fire could be extinguished. A very unfortunate incidence. He left behind his wife Sangeeta and two kids - a daughter and a son. God Bless them.

I first met Praveen in 1982 during our class Xth in school. He was in my section. He was a typical bully type boy who had more money than others in school. We went off reasonably well. After our class Xth boards we had gone together in our school trip to Kashmir, Jaipur and Agra. I still recollect various events of that trip involving Praveen. At the houseboat he tried alcohol and it was a shock for most of us at that age about someone indulging into this. I also recollect the dinner I had hosted for the four or five "modern" classmates which included him at Jaipur during that trip.

After that I went for my college to Nagpur and lost touch with him completely for 6 years. When I came back to Purulia, I met him again. His family had bought in a old British bungalow - Tower Villa. A wonderful building with huge gardens and chandeliers, carpets and antique furniture. The whole schoolmates by that time had started playing cards and his this villa was the den on every Sunday. I was never into cards but used to spend my time there on Sunday evenings - a good hideout for my smoke. I still remember he used to call the 10 of heart "nightangle" as he used to win with that card. I came a bit close to him during the time he was getting married. I accompanied him when he went for his marriage shopping and also drove him to his wedding at Asansol - some two hours drive from Purulia. We were having a great time at his wedding singing and dancing. In fact his father in law had got very upset at our constantly doing this. We had some family dinners and came to know Sangeeta - his wife closely. She and Minoo would meet up regularly. Then I got deeply into Rotaract and then moved to Faridabad. We lost in touch and might have met couple of times casually during my trips to Purulia. I recollect meeting him last time at a restaurant where I had gone for dinner at Purulia. He and Sangeeta had stepped in when I was having dinner with Rajesh.Never thought that that will be last time I will see or meet him. I pray to God to give Sangeeta and the Kids courage to face the tragedy and May Praveens soul rest in peace.

Will we ever touch them

For the last many years I had been under the impression that the biggest competition for my business comes from China but this trip has really changed my prospective. LNM is presently making products for all the top OEM companies in Mining & Construction supplying products all across the globe. Couple of year back I used to listen from my customers that we are expensive then China etc but lately nobody was saying this. Now I realise that the chinese companies have taken a massive jump are not even competing with us but have gone a step further and were competing with my customers infact. There was this huge river basin project which all my customers had bid for and I was working closely with two of them as a potential partner. This was a huge project for all these companies and obviously LNM.  Every body had jacked up their capacity with huge investments to cope up the demand. And you know what the whole project has been given to a chinese company and the millions that these bigger players had invested in the project has just been a huge loss. What do the chinese do that we dont?  Can we ever reach the levels that they have created for themselves. The Olympics have been an eyeopener for the world about what China can do. The amount of money China is spending on infrastructure is mind boggling. 45% of there GDP . No country has ever done this. It is being said that by 2025, Sanghai will have more than 50000 skycrappers ie equivalent of 10 New York cities. China is doing in decades what the west did in centuries. I believe the democratic system in India or say other countries increases the cost and delays to projects.  But then their system of government increases privilege, corruption and special interest group. This results in major failures. The recent episodes with lead in children toys or the presently going on news on contaiminated milk causing numerous deaths of children are a testimony of damages the chinese system does. But then the positives are more than the negatives.  And China is taking massive steps to cut down on these failures. Their growth rate is really gravity defying growing more than 10% for last 15 years or more which is a dream for the rest of the world.  The fastest train in China takes just over four hours for the 800 mile plus Sanghai- Beijing journey.  By 2020 they have planned to have as many airports that each citizen will be living within 60 miles of an airport. By this year China will have around 40000 miles of expressway, India does not even have 1000. If you have been to London and seen the London Eye, china is building something similar in Beijing which will be almost twice as bigger than London eye.  What are we doing? Fighting for land in Kashmir, intelligence fails to unearth the terrorist bombings which is such a casual phenomenon and topic of the kitty parties - where next? We are so much busy in our caste system and reservations that we burn public property some where every day. I have been trying to get my name in the voters list for three years but still have been unable to do so despite efforts. Wake up India. Brand India has more pluses than China in the world as a brand which can be trusted. But why there are no efforts to grow on it? I will certainly try to understand China very closely when I travel there in November end.

Learning German

I am just back from a good dinner - chinese. This trip I had only three meals - twice chinese and one spanish. At Fulda its good the restaurants have good veg food which makes my meal comfortable. Today I had a great company of Stefanie and her colleaue Nicole.  I had a free morning as my meeting was in the afternoon. The meeting was good with good future prospects for LNM. My host company had arranged for a dinner in the evening with two beautiful hosts. Frank, the Operations Manager jokingly mentioned that he is sending me for dinner with two beautiful girls and gonna take pictures which he will send to Minoo if I dont give him a better price. With this wonderful dinner I would be tempted to give them good price but I always give good price to my customers as I believe I am in business as long as my customers survive.

The weather was better today. My fortune cookie after the dinner said that I will inspire others and I am sure if not my accumen as manager but my luck with good hosts will always inspire people to work hard.  Nicole is working as an apprenticeship. After her schools she goes to college once in a week and works for four days. Her work is part of her studies. She would be completing her apprenticeship this November. Its such a betterway as she is able to complete her studies working for herself. She would learn more this way than she would in college studying. All the freshers that we hire in India are so immature about work culture because they have no practical knowledge when they join.  Here in India everyone is working so hard towards going to the best college and only a few are able to go to the government funded places and rest end up paying so much of money for there higher education which is a burden on the parents. This way atleast she is able to take care of her own expenses and learning. This November after she clears her exams she will be ready to take up permanent position in the company. Srves good for everybody. Also one more thing I liked about the culture here is the outdoor activities they do with sports and travel. Both Stefanie and Nicole are widely travelled across the globe. I was seing some pics of Stefanies last holidays with her fiance to US and was nice to see that they experimented on lot of things which we Indians usually dont try to do to save money. They would prefer to stay in cheaper hotels but try things which you get an opportunity to do rarely. Like at the grandcanyon they took the one hour journey on the Cessna plane or at Hawai they took the helicopter ride. They try there hands at so many adventure sports. I learnt couple of words in German like Thank you is said as Dankeschon and sorry is said " Es tut mir leid" pronounced "S toot meer lide". Very difficult to pronounce. Sorry is always difficult to say and specially Germans dont easily say sorry.

Sorry - Samvatsari

I reached Fulda from Rottweil in a four hour train journey. The journey on ICE is wonderful. Travelling at more than 200 kms hour in wonderful comfort. Indian Railways has lot to learn. But then its pretty cheap travelling in Indian Railways as compared to the 80 Euros I paid for this trip. The countryside train journey is beautiful with big farms all around and cattle and horses gazing.

I was going through all my mails of last week on the train and came across a mail from Ritu mentioning Samvatsari on 9th. I was curious about this and was really amazed about this annual Jain community 'Sorry Telling Day'.Samvatsari is considered as the most pious day of a year and Jain people do prayer on this day to ask for the forgiveness for anything they did to hurt someone by means of thoughts, words, acts or deeds. They would ask for pardon from all the living being - human, plants, animals etc. Any word , action that might have hurt anyone. It really takes guts to say sorry and that too for no reason (thats what everyone thinks). Just imagine what state this world would be without this single word and another word close to this could be Thanks. I have seen lot of misunderstandings, my sudden wrong actions - intentional or unintentional just getting sorted out when I said sorry. We copy so much from other culture like Thanksgiving day, Valentines day, mothers day ...... archies has created a day every day but I see no effort from these marketing companies to promote this great day. I think we should try more to look into our culture which is tried and tasted over the centuries. Lets take the first step to say sorry to atleast those we know we have hurt intentionally , forget about unintentional or to other living things. And lets also remember to say Thanks.

As I watch the news in my hotel room - the world economy looks in a mess. Lehman Bros has gone bankrupt, Merrill Lynch is being taken over by Bank of America, AIG is being funded. Share markets world wide has taken a beating. Currency fluctuations is mind boggling. Dollar from 45 to 39 to 46 , Euro from 55 to 70 to 64 against the rupee in a span of one year. I dont know how do we manage this at LNM as every time I tried to hedge I am loosing.

I had a wonderful dinner at a spanish lounge here. First time I had spanish food. It tasted awsome but had lot of cheese. Well I had reason to celebrate - I won a good order for my company today.

On my shortest International trip

Here I am at a place called Rottweil in Germany after two flight and two train changes. My ultimate destination is further 30 kms away and has no train or flight connectivity but my customer is good enough to provide me with a pick up. Well you can imagine how lonely i would be in this small town south of Germany near Switzerland border.

I am on a 48 hour trip to Germany for couple of meetings. It feels great to travel light with just the laptop bag. Its been a long day getting up at 5 in the morning for the flight and reaching my hotel after 16 hrs. Since my last trip to Munich last year the Lufthansa flight is better. Food was good. Saw couple of movies. I am forgetting the name of the English movie but I am pretty sure that Aditya Chopra must have been influenced by this movie for his DDLJ or may be viceversa - the director of this movie has copied DDLJ. Punjab is replaced by Scotland in this movie. By the way Scotland seems to be a beautiful place - have to find a customer there :-). another movie I saw was Zannat - the first time I dared to see Emran Hashmi - as I had no other choice. The movie was good but how can some one make this guy a hero and how can he have fans.

After my meeting tomorrow I have another 4 hours train journey to my next destination. My internet hour is gonna finish and I have to eat my home bought food before i sleep for the day. By the way its cold here - colder than Delhi's coldest.

Tips for better life

 A wonderful forwarded mail recieved - sharing with you all.

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

Do you have an idea?

I notice how frequently I keep making some silly spelling mistakes when I write. Though I know and understand those and have been told about this but some how when I am writing in my flow I repeat the same mistake again? I might have written at least 100 times THERE instead of THEIR in my blogs. And it never strikes me when I write. I have written Dissappoint instead of disappoint. There are many such errors which if I have to write again am going to do. Similar mistakes we do in our day to day activity. It seems that the brain works in a set manner.

Does any one have an idea what this disease(i am not sure if this is a disease) is called? What could be the way to get out of this?

Social Approval or Self Approval

Sangeet is coming today for couple of days. Its our Rakhi tomorrow. Our community - Maheshwari- celebrates Rakhi on Purnima( Full moon) around 20 days after the others do. I don't know why but I have seen this since my first Rakhi and as a school kid it always looked funny when I used to reach school with all the Rakhis tied to my wrist. A few years back I had a great Rakhi at Washington when Sangeet and Rachana both were there. We decided that we will do this every year celebrating together. But unfortunately it has not happened in all the years after that. Lucky for me this year Sangeet is coming. And I really appreciate her efforts to come to Faridabad. I am excited and happy. I am sure Sangeet will be more than that. I look forward to seeing her today evening.

Talking of Sangeet - Sumant & Sangeet as of now have delayed having kids. All my relatives like when we meet - enquire if Sangeet has any kids and when I reply in negative - they look disappointed. I also used to be disappointed with their decision. But when I look at it in a different prospective I some how feel why the hell am I or the people we know feel disappointed at their decision. Its their choice if they want to have kids or they don't want. Why do we live thinking what others are going to feel. Specially on issues so personal. I now feel, there is nothing wrong in their opting to delay parenthood if they don't feel ready for it yet.I see lot of disappointed parents in today's world. May be because they don't know how to be a good parent. There is always a chance of failure in any activity we do but this one is irreversible. You have no choice but to live with it even if it brings lot of stress. Parents sacrifice so much for there kids. Their habits, lifestyle, money, emotions, friends, hobbies , it can be a long list and in most cases they don't accept anything in return. That's what parents think but may be there are internal expectations. Specially in India. How many of them the children fulfil. I know I have not fulfilled much of what my parents expected or planned about me. I don't even give 10 minutes of my time to read a book to my grand mom. I know my Dad feels hurt when I don't do these small things. I make them more unhappy than happy. When I see Minoo devoting so much of her time to teach Divyansh I feel unhappy about it. I know 50% of the time she goes to walk with me is just to please me but her mind is on Divyansh's studies. If I look at all the arguments we had in our family it has some where originated because of the kids. Then why do I have kids. Just because every married couple has one. Or its because my Grand parents or parents or the society expected me to have one. Or did I have kids because they will take care of me when I get old. Absolutely not at least this one. I neither expect nor look forward to them to take care of me when I grow old or sick. It feels so sickening when I see people around suffering because the children are fighting over family properties. They care a damn about parents - who gave there all - time, youth, hobbies, money and what not. Is it worth taking a risk. This is no business. You can recoup from losses. You can divorce if you are unhappy in a marriage. What can you do in situations like this? Just be unhappy.
I feel every couple should evaluate their capabilities to raise a child and the day they feel they are capable to upbring and grow with the child they should have one. This is not a popularity contest, at the end of the day what matters is are you happy and not creating undue pressure in you life?

Materialism and Spirituality

At our home we have some extremes in both Materialism and spirituality. The kids are too materialistic wanting to own everything they see on the net and my Grand Mom is spiritual to the max. And we co exist. Is it possible that Materialism and Spirituality can co exist? Yes, depending on what you mean of spirituality. For me Spirituality is humanity. I learned this from my Grand Father. This means - apart from looking after your family, you should look after others who are not as fortunate as you are. I have never forgotten one statement my grandfather used to say - "Jo deta hai woh pata hai" ( in English - "One who gives , always gets" - I am not sure if I translated it exactly from Hindi). He was never very religious. He always used to say , "Help others even if at the cost of some sacrifice , that's why we are in this world".

His words and lessons are a challenge to me. I have always believed in the Supreme being, the one who guides us. HE has bought us in this world and HE will take us away. Only Karma is what we can do. As Babuji ( that's what we called him) I am also not very religious. I rarely go to temples though I do my prayers - may be for a minute in the morning and before I go to bed. I also don't believe in organised religion. I don't expect my kids to follow the religion I follow. It will never bother me if they choose not to be religious. I believe religion is man made. I don't need religion to be good. I try to do in my humble way what ever good I can do for the people through money, time or counselling. I am not sure if you guys have heard about the "two percent club" located at Denver where all the members are committed to donate minimum 2 % of there revenue every year in the form of cash or kind. That's a wonderful commitment towards the needy. I am sure all these guys who do this charity like materialistic things also. I believe there is no harm in trying things "so called materialistic". To follow spirituality I believe I don't have to be away from materialism and vice versa. The best path is the middle one - away from both the extremes. I firmly believe materialism and spirituality can go together hand in hand. You don't have to leave worldly pleasure and go in search of spirituality. What I see of the Pope - he leaves in opulence - so much Gold, pearls, velvet etc. Yet he is so spiritual. Connected to the Almighty.
This is what Babuji believed in. I remember Babuji telling me one day to make a Guru for myself - some one who will show me the path in my life- I told him when I have you as my Grandfather, I don't need to go to a Guru. All his words and acts were that of wisdom. Babuji always said that Ego is the root of materialism. If Ego is put on hold , the spirit has more space to move around.You can clearly hear your spirit when the Ego is not making noise and is kept silent in one corner. Hope I can follow his this advice.

I know I will be very successful in my life and career if I am able to follow some of his ways and style. Miss u Babuji.