Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die

Recession forced me to cut costs and I had to relinquish luxury of driver. I always enjoy driving and also hate to have a driver who most of the time is all ears to what u r talking but had to hire one as I was not allowed to drive after my surgery for more than six months. Its been a real test of patience on the roads. The civic sense of the proud citizens of this country is horrible. People driving those million Rupee + cars regularly throw Banana peel out of their fast moving cars. Spitting on the road is birth right of all the tobacco chewing population. Driving in lane is a no no. People prefer to bribe and tip then wearing their seat belt. Sights of garbage all across the city and "sara jahan hamara" toilets is common.Cellphones ringing loudly in public transport and honking is the best music that the denizens can play. I have never been able to maintain the safe distance with the car ahead as some one will overtake from the left and get between the two cars. And unfortunately there seems to be no solution to all this in sight. We are proud citizens who get into the street, destroy public property etc etc on the question of morality, religion, caste. Seven thousand crores of public property was burnt in Punjab in a day in retaliation to a shoot out in a Gurudwara in Vienna. Why destroy the public property? Because only 3 % of the population pay for it with their taxes. And the rest think its their "Baap ka maal".

62 years ago when India became independent, the life expectancy of an Indian was well under 30. The retirement age of officers was 55. Reaching the age of 60 was a celebration in the family and those who could afford weighed in food grains and the same was distributed to the needy. Now at 60+ our large majority is below 40. With the younger population it is expected that we better our record but it looks like we are digressing. Morality is of no relevance in this fast paced life. Civic sense does not exist. The curse of memory is surely the burden of old age as the new generation can afford to be amnesiac. The young can take every thing for granted. This country no longer remembers the calendars of Bhagat Singh, Netaji or Vivekanand. Gandhiji is now referred as another name of maajboori not realising that his name was synonym with majbooti And every one talks of making India - "sone ki chidiya" again. We want this country to be world leader, a powerful nation, an economic superpower, a heaven. But unfortunately no one wants to die for it. No one wants to contribute his slightest civic sense to make it one.

I know I will be reborn....

This day a year back I was admitted for my disk replacement surgery. An event that changed my complete thought process and priorities in life. It also made me realise things that I will not be able to do any more , things that I always wanted to but never had time to do. Suddenly I found out I have out grown those little little things that I never did and now that I know what I missed I cannot do them any more. Working for more than 80 hrs a week for 15 long years - the only thing that I got for me or my family was all those materialistic things which does not hold any relevance the moment priorities change. God gave me opportunity twice to understand this when my parents were detected with cancer in 2001 and 2006 but its rightly said," You yourself have to die to go to heaven". I realised this with my surgery and thought of sharing this with all. I know I will be reborn as I missed out on some of the major things and I can not do them any more. Listing them:

1. Enjoying my children grow - When Sameep and Divyansh were growing up, I never had time for them. Now that they are teenagers I just am left to cry at myself on those missed out happy moments which a father is privileged to enjoy seeing his child grow.

2. Lessons from my Grandfather - My Grandfather was my spiritual Guru. Whenever I am at crossroads I always find an answer to all my grandfather taught me. Unfortunately he is no more and I could never have enough of his views and thoughts.

3. Tennis - My Tennis abruptly came to a halt because of the surgery and as it looks like i will never be able to play again.

4. Adventure Sports - Despite my love for adventures I never did Bungee jumping and now after the surgery can never do it.

5. Beat Debjani to top my class - I was never able to come first beating Debjani in my junior school despite all my efforts.

I have dreams that I have to fulfill before it becomes late and remain dreams. I give myself five more years of active business before I start living all my passion and fulfilling my dreams. As rightly said in the lyrics of the song from the coming Amir Khan movie "Bachpan to gaya jawani bhi gayi,Ek pal toh ab humein jeene do.Give me some sunshine,Give me some rain,Give me another chance, I wanna grow up once again."

Whos bothered of the law

Whos bothered of the law
Originally uploaded by Sandeep Mall

On the NH 8 , I found these three guys speeding without helmets ? God save them and people on their way

Flickr: Your Photostream

Flickr: Your Photostream

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Living In Harmony

August has been a typical month. A time when I am trying to re invent myself and getting all my acts together. In all this hustle bustle, I could never get into right frame to write. But then this topic of discussion we had over breakfast which motivated me to express myself. We were talking about one of Dads maternal Uncle and Aunt and how they are so different in their life, hobbies, work culture. I mean everything. They relish their holidays differently though living together. Having seen and lived with them closely, i never saw anything distinctly common and still they have been happily married for almost 60 years. I was wondering since this morning what keeps them going together but then when I look around I find most of us are in the same boat. When I say most of us - its me and people close to me and around me. Minoo and me have very few things common. As I write this blog, I don't recollect a single common taste or hobby. Her food habits are different - she loves green and lots of veggies and I like fries. She is adamant on her views and sticks by it , I prefer to let things happen. I enjoy sports and she would prefer family melodrama. I love to read and photograph , she prefers to decorate the home. In fact when I look around most of the couples I am close with, they are distinctly different and share very few common thoughts and hobbies. Yet I find them happy together. I am happy being married to Minoo. That makes me think - May its better this way. If we would have shared similar work and hobbies , we would be comparing each other. Evaluating performances. Judging our love and trust on those performances. The diversity of " We are who we are" keeps the romance going and even if we don't like it we have no choice as she is expert in half of the activities we do and I in the other half. If only there was a way to add all the shouting that's coming from Minoo as I write this - "Switch off the Light, I cant sleep with lights on" , you can make out our compatibility as I can go into sleep when she has the lights on to do some stuff or may be teach Divyansh. Love you Minoo.

Brain Drain or Brain in the Drain

The Union budget was presented today in the parliament. I am not an economist nor I understand all these huge numbers. I hope the guys concerned do understand :-) . But what interested me was government spending over 2000 Crores on IIT's and NIT's. This is a wonderful news for our higher education system. Our gen next will have more opportunities to get good education. Good for them and hopefully good for the country.

What disturbs me as a tax payer whose money is being used to provide this infrastructure is what is the commitment of the beneficiaries to use this very subsidised world class education they receive here for India's benefit. A huge percentage of them usually end up taking a job outside the country and blame the system here from long distance. They would never be part of the system and work towards improving them. Its obvious if something goes which hurts their benefits they will be out on the street and shout slogans like when there was this reservation issue. I am absolutely not in favor of reservation and count the events of reservation started by Mr. V. P. Singh responsible for all the social mess we are in. But then these guys should do some should searching and seek giving back to this country. Their should be some accountability and commitment to return their gratitude for this wonderful and cheap education they get. As I understand Doctors have to compulsorily spend some months in rural country as part of their curriculum, engineers should also be made to work within this country preferably in public enterprise for say two years or so in exchange for the near free world class education they get from institutes like IIT's or IIM's etc. Or else the 3% odd direct tax paying population of this country would feel burdened and weak carrying load of all - a rich farmer, a corrupt bureaucrat, a dishonest businessman and an inefficient system.

What we have lost over the years?

I spent the Saturday watching two 1950's movies - " Do Aur Do Char" and " Mr X in Bombay". I had no idea what these movies are about but got them as I wanted to see Kishore Kumar movies as they have rib tickling comedy. Divyansh was not amused as firstly they were old movies and secondly Black & White. Well 'Do aur Do Char" is inspired by Shakespeares "Comedy of Errors". Sanjeev Kumars " Angoor" which came many years later on the same theme should give in its credit this movie also apart from Comedy of Errors as quiet a number of scenes and dialogues have been picked from here. Mr. X in Bombay must have been Shekhar Kapoors inspiration for Mr. India - all the vanishing tricks etc etc. Its obvious the movies are not sleek, presentable and designed like those of today but they are honest and gives a ring side view of the socio economical state of the people and country at that time. How people were honest, truthful, satisfied and happy despite all the hurdles. Kishore Kumar singing on the Gateway of India with the Arabian sea or Taj Hotel as backdrop is a delight to watch. Very few people and automobiles on the road. It must have been such a non polluted world at that time.With technology movies in the last 50 years have become very sleek, well chopped and cut and presentable. But we have lost out so much in the process. Patience. The fast food culture has just wiped out this word from every ones dictionary. Instant result is in. Few weeks crash courses promises entrance to IIT's. I am confused whether getting to IIT's is priority or gaining knowledge is. Truth. We can go to any distant from truth in this competitive world. Its now such a habit worse than smoking that people speak lies where they have nothing to even gain out of it. Humble. Its a show mans world. You have to show even if you dont own. I am surprised as the sole reason to own a big car is to show off to friends and not personal joy or requirement. Fear. Cellphones & TV's have bought in our live more stress than comfort. I still recollect once while returning from Nagpur with Mom our train caught fire and almost 70-80 people died. We survived and reached home on an alternative train and in fact till the time we told dad and others at home of what we went through they were not even aware such an incident has taken place. In today's world I can imagine what Dad would have gone through with the Breaking News updating him every minute. I would also like to share yesterdays incidence. Divyansh had a football match. He plays at a ground near our home. For this match he was to go to some distant ground. When I found out he has gone with some one else and not our driver , I was upset with Minoo and when he didnt reach home when he said he would, I send our driver to fetch him. I in fact was contemplating giving him a cellphone though Minoo and myself had decided we will give him cellphone when he reaches 16 - another three years to go. Innocence. The speed at which the kids grow up in today's 24 hrs satellite world is a pity. I really wish they had even 10% of the fun we or our parents had. The whole childhood is lost in useless school projects, 24 Hrs TV channels, video games, social networks like orkut & facebook. Nature. The biggest non human casualty has been nature. Its so depressing to see all that we have done with nature over the years. What we are leaving for our next generation. Crossing Yamuna river on way to Noida from Delhi is such a painful site with just a sewerage canal left of our holy river.
I have listed some of the problems we have created in this period of transition to this modern colorful world. We have lost out on our crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerely.We lost out on a world where being emotional was not synonymous as being weak. When journey was as important as destination. When travel in a passenger train gave enough time and opportunity to enjoy the nature outside than today's airconditioned trains with dark glasses and curtains. Its good and advisable to see these Black and White movies in between to constantly remind us what the hell we have done for ourselves and the gen next and at least some where our conscious will not allow us to let it deteriorate that fast even if we cant stop it.