A FAMILY OF ALEXENDERS

(THE FIRST PICTURE IS OF DADS, FOLLOWED BY MINE,SAMEEPS AND DIVYANSH'S)

Mummy has gone to Nagpur and Tobu is also back to his home after the vacations. Seeing Mummy off at station has always been a picnic for the family. Unfortunately this time we didn’t had Babuji with us.
So all of us packed ourselves in the Family SUV and headed to see off Mummy and Tobu to Nizamuddin Station. Mummy usually takes a weeks holiday to be with her Mother once a year and Papa usually is tensed when she is away. The evening started with Mom unable to locate her cellphone and we were getting late for departure to the station. And you can easily make out that Papa was not very amused. Anyway the phone was located in the most uncommon places – inside my Grand moms cupboard – I don’t know how Mom managed to take it there.
The weather was excellent. We drove to Nizamuddin station in 50 minutes as the traffic was smooth. Its been almost two years I had been to the station. Nothing has changed , may be its getting worse with all the crowd and holidays getting over and people heading back to there destinations. There was a Punjabi couple in Mom and Tobus coupe and they were carrying rice in Tons – to survive themselves till there next summer trip to there home next year. It becomes hard for these guys to get North india quality rice living down South. Tobu had mist eyes and so had we as we had great time with him for a month. The Kids really enjoyed with him. Sameep had taken him in the morning for some Bowling games and also to Parathe wali gali in Old Delhi to enjoy some exotic Parathas. We had a great time at Comesum – the eatery at the station. As it was FAST for grandmom and Dad we took our dinner. We did become a part of Alexender’s family there. Check out the Pics and the Chef making my Chinese dinner there.
Its Monday morning and last day of the month. My birthday month starts tomorrow. Hope I have a great July.

SMOKING KILLS

( TO WATCH THIS PICTURE EITHER TURN YOUR HEAD ANTICLOCKWISE OR LIFT YOUR MONITOR AND TURN IT CLOCKWISE. DESPITE ALL MY EFFORTS I COULDNOT MAKE THIS PICTURE HORIZONTAL. THIS POSTER IS MADE BY DIVYANSH AND ME).

I was helping out Divyansh making one of his Summer projects today . The project was to make a poster on Smoking is Injurious to health. We made the poster attached here with.

Making the poster took me to my times when I was smoking and how it really kills. The health part of it is may be very well described and documented and every one knows of it but the morally how Smoking Kills. I got into smoking while at college. I am not sure how I took to it but like every body in my room used to smoke so may be I took to it. The habit continued long after I left my college and got married. Minoo had a strong dislike for it and I might have lied to her so many times that I don’t smoke any more but again took to it. Smoking made me lie so many times. Though I was not big time into smoking but as it was something I was doing thinking my family would not know and wanted to hide from them despite promising that I am not doing it, I used to lie. I would avoid taking Kids and Minoo out with me and would like to venture alone so that I can smoke. When I think of all this now I feel so bad and embarrassed, how could I do all this for this bad habit. I might have lost out on some of my prime time to enjoy life and my youth because of this. I believe this was the only vice I had in my life which made me do all other wrongs. Thank God I got this strong motivation to kick this habit and what a difference it has made to my life. I don’t have to now lie from my family nor have to do things away from them. I don’t have to feel guilty when people used to look at me with a nasty look when I would smoke in public place. Smoking really kills – if not healthwise but morally it does. Avoid this.

Charity begins at Home

Minoo & Divyansh are back from there summer holidays. Its the last week of the summer holidays for the kids before they get busy into there new classes, new books. Sameep goes into Class XI and Divyansh to Class VII. Minoo will get busy with there activities from the next week.

As I had mentioned earlier I am trying to change my routine and lifestyle for the last two weeks. One of the things I am trying to do is reduce my cellphone usage at work and home. Its become such a nonsense in India that people always call on cellphones and I believe we might be among the worst in cellphone etiquette. As I used to receive so many calls on my cellphone and it was becoming such a pain during your work that I decided to keep my phone off when at work and switched my voice mail on and requested my callers to call my landline. Two days back I found Sameep doing the same thing. He had switched off his cell at home and got his voice mail activated. This made me to think and understand that Sameep was trying to follow what I am doing. This reminded me of an incidence some 7-8 years back when I had sold my Opel Corsa car at almost 50% price of what I had bought. One day Sameep came to me with an idea to sell his cycle at almost 50% cost to what we had bought for him. I told him this is just few months back we bought this and how come he is thinking of selling this at such a discounted prices. He came up with the answer that " You also sold your car at 50% price" It was a shock to me that how the kids follow you and your activities.

To take positive results of this I see my Dad bringing in lot of activities in home like Table Tennis or Piano - which the kids play now that we have it at home. I see Sameep talking of writing a blog soon and I think I am inspiring some people in the family like my cousins to start writing a Blog.

But there is a flip side to this also. The same activity might be relevent to my age which if the Kids try to copy at there young age is not good. To avoid them not doing those things we at times have to sacrifice lot of things which we would like to do. But miss out because of fear of kids starting to do those things. Parents have to always be a role model. But is it always fair on the parents? I dont know.I have started believing that as its said Life begins at 40. Now with the Kids growing up and having a better understanding of things , I think we can live the way we want to.

Srikant my first cousin is here these days. Apart from his summer training at factory he has joined driving school. He is also teaching Minoo to use computers and thats good for her. I got my first email from her yesterday and its great.

TOBU - My Guru for Patience & Happiness.

Since the last three weeks we have at home a distant cousin of mine from my Moms side. His name is Pratush Panpalia but he is called TOBU by every one. In fact I came to know about his real name yesterday evening. Always am used to calling him by his PET name.Tobu is 15 year old short highted and studies in Class IX. He lives in a joint family with 45 members - four generations. The eldest being his great grand mother and youngest as I recall is one and half years old cousin. There family is a perfect example of how a joint family can survive in today's world. I hope they get covered up by the media so that people can learn from it. The Big Boss of the family is his Grandfather. As I understand the whole system runs on his command but with enough freedom for every members to lead there personal life. All the male adult members will have a family meeting every evening to clear any ill feelings, if at all , has aroused. As they live in a very small town so theres not much commuting. There are two cars they have and if some one needs the car he has to make a prior booking with the master of the house. Any one late for work is penalised financially and prior information needs to be given for leave etc. Any way that was not my purpose of this blog.

Tobu is a very funny guy. He does things funny to keep you always smiling and laughing. We went to the movie yesterday (By the way dont dare to see "De Tali") and he entered the Ladies toilet by mistake. He sits on the chair in the movie hall without pulling his chair out and bang... falls on the floor. The list is endless. Every one in the family tease him and make fun with him. But what I have noticed he enjoys these teasing, laughs at himself but never reacts. He is never mad. What a virtue, man? He has bought so much of happiness in the family. I see my Grand Mom, Dad, Mom all enjoying with him so much. This makes me so happy when I see them happy. But how does he manage to do this. Its like Nirvana - Always being Happy. Above anxiety & anger.

When I was teenager - happiness for me was a byproduct of meeting my goals. A good athletic body, a good grade, a beautiful girlfriend, popularity, lots of money would make me happy. How ever i was never good in meeting my these goals but was also able to realise that if all this was right then this would condemn all those who are not 'best' into misery. And then I used to also find that all those who were 'Best" were also not happy.Then I used to think if I had a happy married life - I would be happy. I was looking for a warm, happy, self confident, intelligent, honest, having similar interest like me..... and more girl as my wife. I would have died a bachelor if I would have continued with my search with all these qualities in a girl.

After almost 20 years into my marriage and on the other side of the life cycle, I understand that the only quality required is "to be HAPPY and make others happy". TOBU falls in that perfectly. I wish and hope he comes to us every summer holidays and keeps us smiling and Happy. Thank you TOBU

Creativity & Loneliness

Well last 10 odd days I am following a different routine. I work within my office time. Real 6-8 hrs of work. I don't use my cell phone at work. Its switched off. I don't lie to my customers on delayed deliveries but tell them the truth if there is going to be a delay. I car pool to work with Dad ( Gas is expensive). This evening all of us walked to the nearby park Bai, papa, Mummy, Bhua,Fufaji, Sameep, Srikant and Tobu for Icecream. I never used to like Ice cream earlier but these days I have started liking them - may be it was because the whole family was there though Minoo & Divyansh were missed. It would have been great if they were here. They come back on 24th.
I have had variety of hobbies in the last 15 years. I have been jack of all but master of none. I have tried my hand at playing music, cooking, painting, photography, reading etc and now blogging. When I try to analyse all of them the common factor I find is I did all this when Minoo was off to Bangalore and when I was alone. Minoo takes her usual 2-3 weeks trip to her parents every year w/o fail. It gets very lonely in her absence and add to it the kids also accompany them. Though this year Sameep is here. During these "forced bachelorhood" I have noticed I am more creative. I have done all my hobbies when I have been alone. This Blog thing also started when I was alone in Europe & then in US and now here. Is it only me or a general trend that people tend to deliver there creativity more when they are lonely or bored?
When I experience loneliness and boredom, I come closer to the space from which creativity and contentment emerge. It is out of the disorientation of isolation that new ideas and peace of mind are born. If you think of boredom as the prelude to creativity, and loneliness as the prelude to engagement of the imagination, then they are good things. I believe Loneliness & creativity go together. This is not to say that one must be lonely to be creative, but they must afford themselves solitude in which to create.Creative people have a particular detachment from the general world around them; they are not necessarily loners, but they definitely are not conformists.This detachment allows them to view things uniquely, from a perspective that cannot be learned or expounded upon.Without the required solitude, a creative person is stifled.Unable to create. Some of you guys might no agree to me but for me being alone is the catalyst for creativity. Though I have not been able to carry my other hobbies long I feel strongly that I will continue to keep on writing this blog as I am a marketing guy and marketing guys are always good in preaching. And given a choice between my bachelor life and life when Minoo is back I will prefer to be happy and comfortable with Minoo around then being happy and creative, though I will miss my writing.

Reactive, Proactive and being parent

Well I have been noticing certain incidences where we are reactive. We react to a situation then being proactive. I have had many incidences at work and home where un necessarily we react to situations. We never are proactive to avoid such situations. We carry an image of somebody or something and always react to that illusions that we have built up in the mind. We are rarely appreciative. I think to be happy I need to change my this habit. I tend to spend my life reacting to situations,events and circumstances rather than creating and shaping them. I regularly wear my seat belt now even if driving within the colony to go for my game of tennis. This is good to do but I should have been wearing my seat belt ever since I have been driving and not in reaction to my accident last month. As I gain more experience in my life I understand a reactive life is not going to bring me happiness. I am surprised how people more mature than me have not yet understood this from there life. I'm talking about proactively, consciously, fearlessly, intelligently and methodically choosing and creating the best life I can think of. Couple of evening back I was just chatting around with Sameep trying to demotivate him from his materialistic things and he seemed to like it and understand it. He ended it with the dialogue that if Papa you had been teaching me all this I might not have been so much in love with everything materialistic. I was really ashamed of myself. I have always been reactive about what he wants or does but never have caught him by his fingers and walked him to the other beauties of life. I understand being Proactive is being scary but it will be rewarding and amazing. I believe I have the oldest kids in my group and from my experience of bringing up my kids - I advise - you have to be a proactive parent. You can never discipline your son/daughter by yelling and shouting. You will also have a vindicating attitude towards them. Reactive parenting will always teach manipulative behaviour. The child will never learn right from wrong and will learn how much she can get away before you have had enough. I have made my mistakes. Minoo still makes this mistake. I am sure I can counsel her now that I understand how I messed up with gem of a boy Sameep is. I hope its not too late.

Hapiness is..........

What a Sunday it has been. Great day , good weather. A perfect begining to my Bucket list to be happy. The only thing I can be unhappy about is Minoo & Divyansh not here.
Hapiness is ....
....Playing a good game of tennis in the morning. Though we lost but the game was satisfying and enjoying.
....Arrival of Monsoon before schedule time. Its a record as per Met department in 109 years. What this means - more power at work and less energy cost
....Taking Mom to grocery store. It was fun taking Mom to buy some grocery and house hold things at SRS Value Bazaar. Dad was also there with us. Due to some "traffic congestion" the internet was not working there and couldnt pay with my card and all three of us pooled in cash to pay the things we shopped.Aisa bhi hota hai.
....Maharajji cooking a great Lunch with the best Dal Makhni I ever had.
....Taking grandmother to temple. All of us got in Innova and went to Birla Temple in mandir marg and Hanuman Temple in connaught Place. What a difference between the two temples with Birla Mandir so neat and clean and hanuman Temple so dirty.Weather was good and not much of traffic on the road or inside the temple. Had a very good time and it was a honor and pleasure spending time with Grand Mom
....Taking Dad to Pandara park for dinner. Dad has been saying for quiet some time to go to Pandara park for dinner and today we did it. we were there early as per Delhi standards so got seats despite not having reservation. Good Food.
....Not fighting with Sameep despite being with him for the whole day. He is less demanding these days it seems or may be he was all so nice because it was Fathers Day. Any was had a great Sunday and add to it slept ful 10 hours to be fresh to work.

What ever happens, happens for good

Minoo being away to Bangalore, I feel I have some time to myself and express myself through this blog. Last two days I have been a bit worried as one of my very good friends lost his job in an MNC. Not exactly lost his job but he was transferred to something which he feels is below his profile and what he was doing presently. When he informed me this information over phone I was confused how to react as initially I was also shocked but I wanted to be strong to keep his spirit and moral up. I told him "Jo hota hai ache ke liye hi hota hai"( What ever happens happens for Good). My Grandfather used to say this and I have seen so many times in my life that when something bad happens the initial reaction is always "Why to me" but the end result of this has always been better. You forget your initial shock. I would like to quote about Steve Jobs who started Apple. I am not sure if you guys have read about him but at 30 he was fired from his own company that he started. To quote him "I didnt see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have happened to me.The heaviness of being succesful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life"

Out of Apple, Steve started NeXT and another company Pixar. Pixar created the worlds first computer animated film, Toy Story. In a remarkable turn of events Apple bought NeXT and this bought Steve back into Apple. Rest they say is history and now most people own an Apple product whether its ipod, iphone or Mac. To quote Steve again"I am pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't ben fired from Apple. It was awful testing medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.Dont lose faith."

I remember one training session when I was in Rotaract. The speaker took out a crisp 100 Rs note and asked the 50 odd trainees "Who would like to have this?" There were quiet a few hands up. Then he crumpled the note and again asked if anyone in the audience wanted to have the note. There were again a good chunck lifting there hand. Then he dropped the note in the ground and grind it with his shoes and then picked it up all crumpled and dirty and asked the same question. Again a good no of audience lifted there hand. The he went on to say the reason for his actions,"My friends, No matter what ever I did with the money, you still want it because it did not decrease in value,It is still worth Rs 100.Many times in our life we are dropped, crumpled and ground into dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worth less. But no matter what ever will happen, you will never loose your value". My dear friend - a message for you when you feel alone and down - You are still priceless... and especially to those who love you.The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know but by WHO WE ARE.You are special - Dont ever forget it. All the best.

The Bucket List

On my flight home from US this time I saw the movie ' The Bucket List" starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. This is certainly one of my sentimental favorite which touches your emotions and has you hoping for finding a friendship in the end. Jack Nicholson is billionaire hospital CEO administrator Edward Cole who as a grumpy and aging four time divorced playboy finds he has terminal cancer. With Freeman a character that's much different a blue collar working class auto mechanic named Carter Chambers who's a loving family man with a wife and kids and on the side a beloved history buff and trivia enthusiast yet he discovers his fate of having terminal cancer. Upon meeting in the same hospital room they share at first it's a cold and tough bonding only later to grow into a friendship by journey and discovery. The concept is thought up by Chambers by making a list called "The Bucket List" of things to do before we die. Oddly opposites agree the journey starts. The adventures include the heart pumping sky diving, auto drag racing, and trips to exotic locations and foreign countries. The movie also has them visiting the Taj Mahal. Most important aside from the journey and discovery of friendship and caring by travel and adventure a special bond is formed. Each has learned before they meet the end they have made each a better person that cares. They both found what's important in life thru one another. "The Bucket List" isn't really a tear jerker, yet you are certainly touched by the way the characters emotions grow by friendship. You as the viewer feel your emotions have taken a good friendship journey. Finally this film is made even better by the performances of the two veteran legends Nicholson and Freeman.

I read somewhere a quote " If you leave each day as if it was your last, someday you will most certainly be right"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. I have seen fear of death very closely with both my parents getting diagnosed with cancer. I was not prepared to lose them , nobody is. No body wants to die nor see there near and dear ones die.Every people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to go there. And yet death is the destination we all share. I now understand that time a man has is limited.I don't want to waste it living some one elses life, living with the results of other peoples thinking. The first thing in my bucket list is to be happy.I was discussing with my good friend Rajesh today and he mentioned about an article Vir Sanghi writes in Sunday Brunch. He mentioned that Bailey Irish Cream are the best and no where it is replicated. The basic reason the farmers mentioned is that they keep there cows happy. Vir further narrates having the same recipe and ingredients but two different hands cooking them makes taste different because of the happiness the person cooking it puts in there. Now I realise why my morning tea is the best tea of the day that my grand mom makes for me.
The future always comes in bits and pieces. You never know what lies in store for you. But I believe if I maintain a positive attitude the doors of chance remain open and I will be happier person.

Is Emotion reason for Indias problem

I was flicking through TV channels after coming from work today and one of the major news was about Japans Daiichi buying majority stake in Ranbaxy. As i understand this is the first major Indian MNC being sold. Over dinner I shared this news with my Grand Mom and she was a bit shocked. For her it was like selling countrys pride. How can one sell itself to a foreigner etc...
I just jocked to her that its difficult to run enterprises on emotions , may be if some day , some one pays me good for LNM I might sale it. But then this thought itself was a bit shivery though I mentioned this casually to her. I felt emotional about my ownership in the company and how I have worked hard to take it where it is today. Also I thought that My Grand mom knew nothing of both the companies or whats good or bad about this deal but her emotional reaction was some thing which she might have percieved out of her experiences or studies. I believe Emotions does not allow you to make a decision based on facts and logic.Emotions can be so intense that it becomes hard to think objectively about things. When one can't think objectively, then proper judgement can not be used. I have lot of fights with my teenager son over various issues. I believe reason for most of this is emotional as I love him very much and my emotions take away my logic. Emotion is about feelings.Emotions interfere with thinking. Anger, fear, hatred, love, all cause behavior that follow people's feelings rather than their thinking. We Indians are emotional about every thing. We forget the practical aspects and reasons in front of our emotions. In the newspapers we read every day about politicians making optimum use of our emotional quotient for there gains wether the present Gujjar agitation in Rajasthan or Gorkhaland issue in Darjeeling. I am still unable to understand how emotional we get into issues that causes us to kill people , destroy public and private properties.
I believe Life is a emotional rollercoaster. Typically the more emotional we are for something the more memorable it will be. A bad vacation does not mean holidays are bad. Our emotions becomes important when weighing the options and ultimately making a decision. The better we understand our emotions (and what that emotion stems from) the better decisions we will make. Our emotions are what drives us. It what causes us to take actions. Emotions effect relations. Very often we respond to other people's behaviors based on how we feel about ourselves. If we are insecure or uncertain about ourselves we are much more likely to have a negative emotional response to somebody's benign comments or actions. I think we should think before we act and not act before we think. We carry our emotions too far. We should have a good balance between being emotional and being rational.

Hey they have this site to locate "Pee Places"

Looks like some guys ready my blog and got this out. You can check out Pee places in 30 cities in US and also they are rated. Great - enjoy this video

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=8102214&ch=4226721&src=news